No bum ideas in Pippa Middleton's party guide

No bum ideas in Pippa Middleton's party guide

Anyone wondering if she had brains as well as bum was left illusion-free last December, when Pippa Middleton published tips for a perfect family Christmas.

They included maverick ideas like decorating a tree, hanging up fairy lights and drinking mulled wine, and I fully believed no list of suggestions about anything could ever be better, or more useful.

I was wrong.

Because this week Pippa has bestowed upon us another set of genius tips, this time about summer street parties thrown for no specific reason at all, and definitely not the Jubilee.

No cashing in on her connections for our Pip, you see.

So, just to clarify: she is not talking about the Jubilee.

Definitely not.

Not at any time.

DECORATIONS

“Use colours of the Union Jack and deck out your house in red, white and blue.”

Red, white and blue is simply a nice colour scheme.

And the Union Jack is a nice flag, so why wouldn’t one of the ideas b e to use it in your ­decorations?

It doesn’t mean anything.

“Helium balloons and paper chains will make it look more festive.”

I’d actually always assumed balloons and decorations would make things look less festive, so this is ­ground-breaking.

“If you’re having a party in your street, Union Jack bunting and streamers look great hung between windows and lampposts.”

Yes, Union Jacks again. Oh come on, cynics, who among us hasn’t been to a flag-themed party at least thrice in our lives? It’s the norm!

Anyway, it’s not like she’s going to use red, white and blue and the Union Jack in all her tips, it’s only this one.

DRESS UP

“Have some face paints at the ready to paint flag motifs on ­children’s cheeks as they arrive.”

OK, I concede that she has mentioned flags again. But she didn’t say which one, did she? She could mean the Tricolor Nacional, ­Venezuela’s flag.

“Provide hat s and party blowers on the table for everyone. Lay the party table with Union Jack flags and bright confetti.”

Firstly, hats and party blowers?! At a party? That idea might just be crazy enough to work! Wonder why no one’s ever thought of it before?

Secondly, OK, turns out it wasn’t the Tricolor Nacional, it was the Union Jack again. Purely coincidence.

GAMES

P.Middy suggests everything from skittles to French cricket to a tug of war. But then she totally flips everything you ever thought you knew right on its head.

Because after the games you were probably ­planning to give prizes to the losers, and make them really rubbish prizes that people would just chuck away immediately, right?

Prepare to have your mind blown.

“Give out prizes to the winners, perhaps mementoes of the occasion which they can treasure for ever.”

FOOD

At most street parties, the grub is an eight-course Cordon Bleu taster menu, always i ncluding risotto and souffle.

But how about this for an off the wall suggestion: “Sandwiches are easiest to make for a crowd â€" have brightly coloured flags in each pile to tell people what they are.”

Outstanding. And to prove it, I've done it! I took “brightly coloured” to mean pink, but you could probably use any colour, like, say, to randomly pick some colours off the top of my head, um, red, white and blue?

TREATS

You know how basically everyone gives kids treats in party bags to take home â€" stuff like bubbles, stickers or a colouring book?

Well Pippa’s come up with the following: “Have a little treat for each child at the end of the party, such as bubbles, stickers or a colouring book...”

So far, so what, right? But then, as always, Pippa totally makes it her own:  “...instead of a party bag, put treats in a souvenir mug to remember the day by.”

What? Look, this still hasn’t got anything to do with the Jubilee, OK?

Are you seriously telling me you don’t get souvenir mugs made after every party you throw?

Best thing I've heard in my life of the week

“Victoria comes home and shows me what she’s been doing all day and what exciting dresses and bags she’s got coming through.

"And then I say something boring like ‘I got kicked today’.” David Beckham

Joey Essex of the week

“As a uni student, I thought the tumble dryer was the washing machine for about three months.

"I used to put my clothes into the dryer and they came out warm and fresh, so I thought it was the washing machine.” Made In Chelsea’s Jamie Laing

Grammar of the week

“Now no one can say nothing to me.” Ashley Cole

"I’ll never marry again": Michelle Mone reveals her bust-up heartbreak

"I’ll never marry again": Michelle Mone reveals her bust-up heartbreak

LINGERIE queen Michelle Mone has revealed how she “cried herself to sleep every night” after her husband walked out.

The Ultimo boss, 40, said she was “shattered” when Michael left her after 20 years for her ex-colleague Samantha Bunn last year.

She said: “I thought, ‘How could you, with a member of my team that I’ve ­managed for four years?’

“How could she lie to me and stay in my house next door and have dinner at night with my kids?”

But she revealed her life was turned around when ex-footballer John Barnes and his wife Andrea introduced her to new love Karl French while in Dubai.

Mum-of-three Michelle said: “We just started to chat.

"He was in a similar situation, he has three girls â€" I just think a day at a time.

"I’m still of the opinion I’ll never marry again.

"I got hurt so badly that I just don’t want to ever do that again.”

Mind the age gap: Are celebrity toyboy/girl affairs doomed to fail?

Mind the age gap: Are celebrity toyboy/girl affairs doomed to fail?

They say ‘age is just a number’.

But when it comes to age-gap couples the numbers can often get in the way of relationship bliss.

Sharon Stone, 54, and her toy-boy lover Martin Mica, 27, looked the picture of happiness frolicking on Venice Beach just weeks after meeting.

But perhaps the Basic Instinct actress should be careful to not invest too much into the relationship.

Because often, the bigger the gap the shorter the coupling...

Ronnie Wood and Ekaterina Ivanova

42 years: Ekaterina 19, and Ronnie, 61

Age gap: 42 years

Relationship length: 17 months

Ronnie Wood, then 61, left his wife of 13 years Jo in July 2008 after he met Russian beauty Ivanova, then 19, in a London nightclub.

After a tempestuous relationship they split in December 2009 shortly after Wood was cautioned for drunkenly assaulting the former Big Brother housemate.

Ivanova insisted the 42-year difference had nothing to do with the break-up because the rock star acted like a much younger man.

But when she started dating men closer to her age after the pair split Ekaterina, now 23, said: “It’s so nice being with someone the same age where you can say, ‘Do you remember that programme when we were kids?’”

Les Dennis and Amanda Holden 

17 years: Les, 41, and Amanda, 24

Age gap: 17 years

Relationship length: 10 years.

There was some shock when Les and Amanda married in 1995 because of their 17-year age-gap â€" not least from Les himself who was 41 years old to Amanda’s 24.

“I was worried, well scared, actually about the age difference,” said the former Family Fortunes host, now 58.

“I realise now that it’s about loving each other and not whether you relate to the same kind of music.”

Sadly, the optimism wasn’t to last.

They temporarily split after revelations of Amanda’s affair with Men Behaving Badly star Neil Morrissey surfaced and divorced for good in 2003.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

16 years: Ashton, 25, and Demi, 40

Age gap: 16 years

Relationship length: eight years.

Despite their 16-year age-gap Ashton Kutcher, 33, and Demi Moore, 49, seemed the perfect couple after they got together in 2003 when Demi was 40 and Ashton 24.

They certainly weren’t afraid to show off their attraction to each other with frequent Public Displays of Affection in person or communicated in sickening lovey-dovey tweets.

But the bubble burst in November when accusations of Ashton’s infidelity surfaced leaving Demi, now 49, heartbroken at collapse of their six-year marriage.

Caroline Flack and Harry Styles

15 years: Caroline, 32, and Harry, 17

 

Age gap: 15 years

Relationship length: three months

Xtra Factor presenter Caroline Flack, 32, felt the wrath of jealous One Directioners when her secret relationship with band-member Harry Styles surfaced, reportedly receiving death-threats from the ultra-loyal fans.

Not only did they wanted to be in with a chance with the curly-haired charmer, they were sickened by the 15-year age-gap and the fact Harry, now 18, was just 17.

They didn’t have to worry though â€" Harry’s music commitments put paid to the relationship after just three months when the pair split in March.

Despite the brief romance the couple remain good friends.

“Harry is adorable,” said Flack, “he is a nice person. He was nice to me - we were nice to each other. He’s brilliant, he is so much fun.”

Madonna and Jesus Luz

27 years: Madonna, 50, and Jesus, 23

Age gap: 27 years

Relationship length: One year

When you’re Madonna, a toyboy lover is an essential accessory.

After her divorce from director Guy Ritchie â€" who was 10 years younger than the singer â€" she took up with Brazilian model Jesus Luz, who at 27 was 28 years younger than the Material Girl singer who was 50 at the time.

The couple split in February 2010 after a year together because, it was claimed, they had little to talk about.

Madonna was said to have told a friend: “It’s really pushing it for us to have common ground these days. We have Kabbalah, that’s about it.”

Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

60 years: Hugh, 82, and Crystal, 22

Age gap: 60 years

Relationship length: three years

Hugh met Crystal at a Halloween party in 2008 when she was just 22 to his 82.

He started dating her shortly afterwards - alongside 20-year-old twin models Kristina and Karissa Shannon.

The relationship got serious when Hefner ditched the twins and went exclusive with Harris, who dismissed age-gap cynics by pointing to their shared interest in psychology.

In June 2011, at the sprightly age of 85, Hefner became engaged to the Playboy bunny 60 years his junior.

Sadly for Hef, she broke it off just days before they were due to be married â€" but still kept the £58,000 engagement ring.

Sam Taylor-Wood and Aaron Johnson

23 years: Sam, 42, and Aaron, 19

Age gap: 23 years

Relationship length: ongoing

When Sam and Aaron fell in love on the set of Nowhere Boy in 2009 â€" she was directing and he in the lead role as Beatle John Lennon â€"  there was some surprise given the 23-year age-gap.

They got engaged in October that year after just a few months dating â€"  when Sam was 42 and Aaron 19.

Now they have two daughters together, Wylda Rae, 22 months, and six-month old Romy Hero.

Sam, 45, said: “In the old days, “controversial” in a relationship meant same-sex or mixed races. Now, it is a woman with a younger man.

"That would not happen with a man.”

While Aaron, 21, said: “I’m an old soul and she’s a young soul. We don’t see an age gap, we just see each other.”

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones

25 years: Michael, 54, and Catherine, 29

Age gap: 25 years

Relationship length: Ongoing

After meeting in March 1999, when he was 54 and she was 29, the enduring pair married in November 2000.

“God bless her that she likes older guys”, Douglas said of Zeta-Jones. 

Despite the significant age gap the couple are still happily married, and have two children aged 11 and 9.

Catherine says: “Until someone actually tells me he’s 25 years older, I don’t actually think about it.”

"I don't even think about Simon Cowell" says Cheryl Cole, while talking about Simon Cowell

"I don't even think about Simon Cowell" says Cheryl Cole, while talking about Simon Cowell

 

Former X Factor judge Cheryl Cole has said she does not "even think" about show supremo Simon Cowell any more.

The solo singer who cut her musical molars in Girls Aloud said it was "kind of irritating" that she keeps being asked about him.

Which is a bit awkward really.

Speaking to Steve Wright (who asked, obvs) on BBC Radio 2, Cheryl said: "In my mind it's years ago, but people keep talking about him. It doesn't matter where I go, what interview I'm doing, people want to talk about Simon."

She said she is not likely to work with him in the future, adding: "I don't really even think about Simon, doesn't really come into my brain."

Cheryl Cole wore £175 Markus Lupfer stripes and Miu Miu earrings for the radio show (it's important to dress up for radio)

Like Cheryl's stripey style? Then steal it (legally) here!

Cole had a successful stint on the UK version of the X Factor but was dropped from the US version in 2011 only weeks after being publicly given the job.

She said her musical career was her "priority" and her new album is the "most varied" of her career.

And of her new album? "It's got a RB influence, there's actually some dub step sounds on there, I know a lot of people hear that as noise, but I really like that feeling.

"Will's [Will.i.am to the rest of us] is on there, Wretch 32's on there. It's got some dance feel, it's got some ballads and it's got some dubs."

'Dubs' sound edgy, even if 3am aren't cool enough to know what they mean. Bet Will's does mind...

The full interview can be heard on BBC Radio 2's Steve Wright In The Afternoon between 2pm and 5pm today (June 1st).

Love Cheryl? Us too! Watch her new video below:

 

Why the Hitman video game trailer is a shameless piece of sexist tat designed to get the internet worked into a lather

Why the Hitman video game trailer is a shameless piece of sexist tat designed to get the internet worked into a lather

If the 'controversial' Hitman Absolution trailer that's got the internet in a lather this morning proves anything, it's this: despite working in the biggest entertainment industry in the world with a userbase demographic equally as broad and varied as that of film and music, video game marketers are still obsessed with titillating teenage boys.

The Hitman franchise, in which you play the titular assassin, is a violent game, and so it goes without saying that its trailers will feature violent scenes. There's nothing inherently wrong with that in and of itself.

The same applies to similarly themed films and TV shows and nobody bats an eyelid as long as the viewers exposed to them are of the requisite age.

Sadly, it wasn't enough for Hitman Absolution's publishers to showcase their game's great graphics engine or gripping gameplay, though.

Controversial: The video game featuring gun-toting, PVC-clad nuns being killed in a hail of bullets has sparked outrage on Twitter

 

Blasted: The game has been slammed for its graphic violence and sexualisation of women

They had to sex it up, throwing in fetish gear-clad women disguised as nuns. And then have Agent 47 beat them up in grisly graphic detail.

We say 'sex it up', but arguably only a hormonal teenager - or a video game marketing exec - would find that remotely sexy.

The rest of the right-thinking world instead views the video for what it is: a shameless piece of sexist tat designed to get the internet worked into a lather and millions of YouTube plays. Something it's achieved effortlessly.

Games journalist Keza McDonald has eviscerated the trailer elsewhere on the web, and there's not much to add to her detailed dissection.

Holy war: The nuns strip off their robes to reveal skin-tight PVC suits, complete with suspenders, high heels and fishnet tights while they carry an arsenal of weapons

One shot shows Agent 47 closing a nun's dead eyes

 

Apart, maybe, from this. Despite being in it's fourth decade, the games industry is still, comparatively, in its infancy yet people that work within it are obsessed with being taken seriously. They want video games to be legitimised as art, to be viewed on a plane with cinema.

Much of the hand-wringing brought about by this sensationalist stunt relates to this inferiority complex. A fear that Hitman Absolution will only confirm stereotypes about the games industry and the people that play games.

And yet that's like decrying Jason Statham for portraying cinema as a medium solely aimed at knuckle-headed morons.

Gaming is a broad church. Plenty of studios and publishers are doing great things, things that are as worthy and, yes, arty as any other entertainment medium going.

And that's one thing that Hitman won't be able to kill off.

Is this the iPhone 5? First pictures of Apple's new smartphone are 'leaked'

Is this the iPhone 5? First pictures of Apple's new smartphone are 'leaked'

Leaked pictures apparently showing the new iPhone 5 have been published on an Apple rumours website.

The new handset is longer and has a bigger screen than its predecessor while the speaker grills also appear to have been redesigned.

Other changes include the earphone dock which has been switched to the bottom of the phone and the power connector which is visibly smaller.

The 9TO5 Mac website posted the images this afternoon and featured both the black and white versions of the record-selling smartphone.

Similar: The biggest changes are likely to made on the inside

The source does specify that the new device could also be available in two additional colours, modestly reminding us that they first revealed that the new iPad would come in white.

Fans of the Apple devices may want to remember that alleged prototype leaks have often been wrong.

Latest model: iPhone 4S

Apple are unlikely to launch the iPhone 5 - which many hope will boast a faster processor and a retina display - before the autumn.

The iPhone - introduced in 2007 with the touchscreen template now adopted by its rivals - remains the gold standard in the booming smartphone market.

Apple launched the iPhone 4 in June 2010 in black 16 gigabyte and 32 gigabyte versions, and added white ones in April.

The company typically refreshes its iPhone lineup during its developer event in June, but delayed the new model this year.

Apple sold 20.34 million iPhones in the third quarter ending June 25, which analysts say helped it vault past Nokia and Samsung Electronics to become the world's biggest smartphone maker.

Some analysts are expecting another version of the iPhone 4 to be launched along with the next model.

Spinal revival: Paralysed rats taught to run again giving hope for humans

Spinal revival: Paralysed rats taught to run again giving hope for humans

Severely paralysed rats have been taught to sprint like athletes, raising hopes that people with severe spinal injuries will be able to walk again.

The rat experiments showed that a severed spinal cord can be helped to regenerate itself by waking up a “spinal brain”.

Scientists say the five year study, published in the journal Science, changes the way we think of the nervous system.

Researchers don’t yet know if it could work for humans but say it brings huge hope to the paralysed.

“After a couple of weeks of neurorehabilitation with a combination of a robotic harness and electrical-chemical stimulation, our rats are not only voluntarily initiating a walking gait, but they are soon sprinting, climbing up stairs and avoiding obstacles,” said Dr Gregoire Courtine of the Ecole Poytechnique Federale de Lausanne.

His research shows the spinal cord can be “woken up” and communicate with the brain even after severe injury.

The French team injected a cocktail of chemicals into the rats to stimulate nerve system transmitters.

Five to 10 minutes after the injection, the scientists electrically stimulated the spinal cord with electrodes implanted in the outermost layer of the spinal canal, called the epidural space.

They were then able to train the rats to run again using harnesses. 

“This is the world-cup of neurorehabilitation,” said Dr Courtine.

“Our rats have become athletes when just weeks before they were completely paralysed. I am talking about 100% recuperation of voluntary movement.”

In principle, the radical reaction of the rat spinal cord to treatment offers reason to believe that people with spinal cord injury will soon have some options on the horizon.

Dr Courtine is optimistic that human, phase-two trials will begin in a year or two at Balgrist University Hospital Spinal Cord Injury Centre in Zurich, Switzerland.

Dr Elizabeth Bradbury, Medical Research Council Senior Fellow, King’s College London, said: “This is ground-breaking research and offers great hope for the future of restoring function to spinal injured patients.

"However, some questions remain before we know how useful this approach may be in humans.

“Nevertheless this work represents a significant advance for research into repairing the injured spinal cord.”

Dr Bryce Vissel, Head of the Neurodegenerative Diseases Research Laboratory at the Garvan Institute of Medical Research in Sydney, added: “Of course all science is challenging, and there will be hurdles before we see this translated to real effect in people, but the study by Grégoire Courtine and his team suggests we are on the edge of a truly profound advance in modern medicine: the prospect of repairing the spinal cord after injury.”

Don't panic! Milky Way WILL crash into neighbouring galaxy... but not for another four billion years

Don't panic! Milky Way WILL crash into neighbouring galaxy... but not for another four billion years

The Milky Way will smash into the neighbouring Andromeda galaxy in a titanic head on cosmic collision -- in four billion years time.

The galaxy crash will be so huge it will fling the Sun into a different orbit.

The enormous crash is now an absolute certainty NASA astronomers announced last night.

It is likely the Sun will be flung into a new region of our galaxy, but our Earth and solar system are in no danger of being destroyed.

“Our findings are statistically consistent with a head-on collision between the Andromeda galaxy and our Milky Way galaxy,” said Roeland van der Marel of the Space Telescope Science Institute (STScI) in Baltimore.

The prediction came through painstaking NASA Hubble Space Telescope measurements of the motion of Andromeda, which also is known as M31.

The Andromeda galaxy is now 2.5 million light-years away, but it is inexorably falling toward the Milky Way under the mutual pull of gravity between the two galaxies and the invisible dark matter that surrounds them both.

It is hurtling towards us at 250,000 mph travelling the distance between Earth and the Moon in an hour.

“After nearly a century of speculation about the future destiny of Andromeda and our Milky Way, we at last have a clear picture of how events will unfold over the coming billions of years,” said Sangmo Tony Sohn of STScI.

“The scenario is like a baseball batter watching an oncoming fastball. Although Andromeda is approaching us more than two thousand times faster, it will take four billion years before the strike.”

Computer simulations derived from Hubble’s data show that it will take an additional two billion years after the smash for the interacting galaxies to completely merge under the tug of gravity and reshape into a single elliptical galaxy similar to the kind commonly seen in the local universe.

Although the galaxies will plough into each other, stars inside each galaxy are so far apart that they will not collide with other stars during the encounter.

However, the stars will be thrown into different orbits around the new galactic centre.

Simulations show that our solar system will probably be tossed much farther from the galactic core than it is today.

To make matters more complicated, M31’s small companion, the Triangulum galaxy, M33, will join in the collision and perhaps later merge with the M31/Milky Way pair.

Previously, it was unknown whether the far-future encounter will be a miss, glancing blow, or head-on smashup.

The Hubble Space Telescope team, led by van der Marel, conducted extraordinarily precise observations of the sideways motion of M31 that remove any doubt that it is destined to collide and merge with the Milky Way.

“This was accomplished by repeatedly observing select regions of the galaxy over a five- to seven-year period,” said Jay Anderson of STScI.

“In the ‘worst-case-scenario’ simulation, M31 slams into the Milky Way head-on and the stars are all scattered into different orbits,” said team member Gurtina Besla of Columbia University in New York, N.Y.

“The stellar populations of both galaxies are jostled, and the Milky Way loses its flattened pancake shape with most of the stars on nearly circular orbits.

"The galaxies’ cores merge, and the stars settle into randomized orbits to create an elliptical-shaped galaxy.”

The Hubble observations and the consequences of the merger are reported in three papers that will appear in an upcoming issue of the Astrophysical Journal.

Keira and James have been out practising their wedding day poses

Keira and James have been out practising their wedding day poses

That there is the look of love. Keira and James literally can’t take their eyes off each other.

In fact we’re a bit worried about their safety when walking down the street, in case they do themselves a mischief on a lamppost, or fall down a drain.

Last week the couple announced they are getting married last and Keira’s very stern spokesperson issued this statement: “I can confirm that Keira Knightley is engaged to be married to James Righton. We are not discussing any further details."

We've noticed Keira likes to lead James in the hand holding area. This could be a physical reflection on their relationship... or just the way they hold hands

 

Jeez, let’s hope they don’t have any speech making duties on the big day.

Keira and James are providing enough love for the whole world though and even make up for the coldness coming the official mouth piece â€" just.

Here they are leaving the Wolseley restaurant in London where we predict they ate nothing but each other’s faces and probably put everyone else off their tea too.

There she is, the rock that probably cost more than our flat

 

We’re pleased to see though that Keira is no longer trying to hide her engagement ring from nosy old bints like us, who like nothing better than having a good stare at other girl's diamond jewels, because we don’t have one of our own and like shiny expensive things.

Who else is all loved up at the moment? Clue, he's in a band called One Direction...

 

 

 

 

"I feel content for the first time" Fearne Cotton is in love (good game Cupid, good game)

"I feel content for the first time" Fearne Cotton is in love (good game Cupid, good game)

Fearne Cotton's latest interview with GLAMOUR magazine should come with free heart-shaped balloons, rainbows and a small chubby cherub.

Why?

Not only is the GLAMOUR award-winning BBC Radio DJ looking all warm and fuzzy in a fluffy white grandad cardi' - but she's also spoken out about her relationship with Ronnie Wood Junior (aka Jesse Wood).

Fearne admits: "This time last year, I was probably quite miserable, but Jesse turned that around. I’m content for the first time ever â€" it’s a really good feeling".

You know what also feels good Fearne? Wearing amazing, Glamorous clothes and winning 3am's Best Dressed poll - which you did, earlier this week.

Ms Cotton wore a drop hem lilac embellished Theyskens Theory dress and matching heels to the 2012 Glamour Awards - a fashion-forward frock that perfectly nods to this season's love affair with the 1920's too.

She gives good style.

Fearne and Jesse got together last summer with Jesse's dad Ronnie giving his seal of approval early on in October 2011. He said: "Fearne’s a beautiful girl. They’re lovely together. I met her when she came to a Faces gig with Jesse at Cornbury Festival. I very much approve.

"She’s rock ‘n’ roll. I do wonder if she’ll become my daughter-in-law any time soon."

And Fearne's real-life and showbiz BFF Holly Willoughby is a fan too. Fearne said: "She's actually really happy for me. In fact, I don't think she's ever been so pleased for me."

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time Fearne Jesse are near It's a genuine question...

 

It's not all rainbows! And cupcakes! And butterflies! for Fearne though, she's also keeping busy on the career front too: "We’ve started filming a new series of “Fearne And...” [insert a celebrity name there, obvs] and I also really want to do an exhibition of my paintings.

"I have been saying it for years, but I’ve just got to get round to it. Most of all, I just want to remain as calm and content as I feel right now.”

Fearne's an artist too! We're feeling too warm and fuzzy to feel jealous...

And the shoot (shot by celeb style snapper Mattew Eades) looks so cosy too.

Fearne's happy, which makes us happy. But you know what'd make us even happier Fearne? Borrow us your clothes, pleeeaaasse...

Fearne somehow manages to make her award match the colour scheme of her dress. It's just a knack she has

The July issue of Glamour's Women of the Year special is out on Monday June 4th

            

Guess who else is all loved up! Diane Kruger Joshua Jackson AND Keira Knightley and James Righton (party on, excellent etc). Must be something in that A-List water...

Olly Murs joins One Direction in Toronto (and performs with Niall on the toilet. No, seriously)

Olly Murs joins One Direction in Toronto (and performs with Niall on the toilet. No, seriously)

We're going to admit something terrible - we kind of forgot Olly Murs could sing. We're so used to seeing him chinwagging with starry folk on the Xtra Factor that we forgot he likes a good warble and ain't half bad.

And he proves it in this here video of himself performing with One Direction's Niall Horan who is sitting on the loo. Standard.

 

Olly flew out to join One Direction's North American tour earlier this week, joining them on stage in Toronto, Canada on Tuesday. This video was recorded backstage. Obviously. It would be a small stage otherwise. 

He wasn't invited to the boys' jaunt around Niagara Falls yesterday though, unfortunately. Harry decided to take this lucky lady instead.

Introduce us to your date, Harry?

 

Olly thanked One Direction fans for giving him an "awesome reception", tweeting, "Wow!! Thanks @onedirection fans for an amazing night!

"Didn't expect such an awesome reception!! Blown away!! Now watching the lads".

He later added, "TORONTO RULES!!!"

Olly has confirmed that he'll be returning with his co-host Caroline Flack on the new series of the X Factor's spin-off show, which has already started filming some of the auditions. Caroline was spotted having a dance in Liverpool looking pretty thrilled to be back at work and not talking about Harry Styles. Which we still are, obviously. (Did you know they once dated? No? Weird.)           

Caroline's got some moves

 

We reckon Olly and Niall could set up an entire skit in a toilet judging on this little performance. We'd watch it. We'd feel a bit weird and filthy, but we'd watch it.

 

 

Gun tattoos, strip clubs and drug rumours... It's Rihanna's top 10 most shocking moments EVER

Gun tattoos, strip clubs and drug rumours... It's Rihanna's top 10 most shocking moments EVER

When Rihanna told this month's Esquire magazine that she'd love to watch Cheryl Cole bend over and clean her floor we raised one eyebrow and then put it down again. On our office Rihanna shock-o-meter, this didn't register very highly - which is why it's only at our number 10 on her most shocking moments ever list.

This girl is rude - which is why we like her.  

10. Perving on Cheryl Cole

Rihanna and Cheryl sitting on a floor, K.I.S.S....

 

In her first interview with a UK magazine this year, Rihanna told Esquire, "Cheryl Cole is...hot. I would just like to watch her work. Preferably cleaning things on the floor. Picking up stuff on the floor. Bending over. She's hot! I mean, literally...she's so beautiful."

Woah there! We like looking at Cheryl as much as the next lady, but bending over? How would we see her dimples if she was bending over? (Don't answer that.)

9. Naughty necklace

Ooh, vicar!

 

When she's not gyrating with strippers or watching celebrities cleaning her floors, Rihanna still manages to get some folks' knickers all twisted. Here she's seen leaving a chapel in Rio (yeah, a church) dressed innocently enough...Eagle eyed binocular wavers spotted her necklace though, which spelled out the word c***. Ah, so close to respectability, yet so very far.

8. IV picture

Nice nails. Nice drip

 

Rihanna tweeted a picture of her arm with an IV drip attached to it in early May. In the back catalogue of her weird, wonderful and sometimes gross pictures this one stood out for several reasons:

1. There was no explanation attached to the picture. It was sent in response to someone who asked why she'd been quiet all day.

2. It's a picture of an IV. Which is gross.

3. It's the second time Rihanna has been hospitalised for exhaustion. She was forced to cancel a show in Sweden in November last year and tweeted a similar picture.

4. She carried on partying like a proper rock star the very next day.

7. Gun tattoo

That's not a mole it's a gun, we promise

She matched her tattoo to her necklace - or the other way around

Just after Chris Brown was arrested for assaulting her, Rihanna tweeted a picture of her new tattoo. Inked under her right armpit was a teeny tiny gun.

It was exactly the same as the gun pendant she always wears. She was originally going to get two guns on either side of her collar bone, but decided against it because of her modelling commitments. No, not because they would have looked stupid, but because of modelling commitments, OK?

6.5 Puffing on a 'kush' in Hawaii

Puff puff puff

 

Rihanna was seen chuffing on a suspicious looking ciggie while on holiday in Hawaii in January of this year. She wrote, "Kush rolled, glass full...I prefer the better things." Kush refers to a type of cannabis found in Afghanistan, Pakistan and India. So now we've all learned something, right?

6. Her UK X Factor performance

Ladies! It's family night viewing

In 2010 Rihanna and Christina Aguilera caused a right old rumpus with their diiiiirty (see what we did there?) performances on UK X Factor. There was nudity! There was grinding! There was simulated sex! Doilies were ruined all over the country as vicars spluttered tea out of their noses.

5. The F*** You shoe

Rihanna has expletives on her shoe during X Factor performance

 

Not one to let anyone (especially Ofcom) get the last word, Rihanna's performance on the X Factor in 2011 seemed to be the definition of understatement. She wore a little girl tartan dress and warbled like a good 'un. Of course she had F*** You written on the side of her shoe though, broadcast live to millions of people. Obvious really when you think about it.

3. Leaving Ashton Kutcher's house at 4am

If we were Ashton, we would. You know, not that they did

That hand is normally placed on Rihanna's bottom

 

Rihanna made one pap's life infinitely richer when she turned up in her massive people carrier to Ashton Kutcher's house at midnight and didn't leave until 4am. She's never said what her nocturnal visit in mid-March was about, but we can guess. Her boiler had blown and Ashton happened to have a spare one in his bedside cabinet.

This was smack bang in the middle of Ashton's separation from his estranged wife Demi Moore by the way, just in case you thought this story lacked the appropriate level of scandal.

3. Strip club pictures

Okay, so this is eyebrow-raising worthy

We now have two eyebrows raised

Rihanna continued her months of mayhem (the whole of 2012 so far) by tweeting these pictures of herself throwing money at strippers at the beginning of May. Strippers that are miming a sex act on each other - and on her. She tweeted, "Best stress reliever = $tripper$. Kill it Tip it #Cake."

2. Rihanna and Chris Brown duet

Yeah, we're scared of this situation

 

Chris Brown is still officially on probation for assaulting Rihanna in 2009. That hasn't stopped her lifting his restraining order and enjoying a good sing-a-long with her ex-boyfriend though.

The pair collaborated on two tracks - her song Birthday Cake and his offering, Turn Up The Music, earlier this year.

The lyrics for Birthday Cake go something like this, "It's not even my birthday, but you wanna lick the icing off. I know you want it in the worst way. You wanna blow my candles out. I know you wanna bite this, it's so enticing." Cue Chris to respond, "Girl I wanna f*** you right now, been a long time, I've been missing your body, Turn the lights down, when I go down, it's a private party."

Please turn the lights down while we chunder.

In response to the public outcry over the duets, Rihanna told US Elle magazine, "People end up wasting their time on the blogs ranting away, and that's all right because tomorrow I'm still going to be the same person. I'm still going to do what I want to do."

Three months on and we've still got our shocked faces on.

1. "Mysterious powder" pictures at Coachella festival

What is it? Cheese? Sugar? TELL US

 

And here we are at number one. And what a worthy number one it is too. When Rihanna uploaded these snaps of herself sitting on her bodyguard's shoulders backstage at Coachella festival in April, seemingly chopping up some powder, we actually gasped. Hands were put over mouths and eyes were widened. It was dramatic. 

And may we remind you that it takes a lot to make us gasp. When Britney shaved her head we gasped. This is up there. (OK, maybe it's not on a par with head shaving, but it was pretty damn shocking. ADMIT IT.)

Rihanna has never openly commented on the pictures and the "what is it?" speculation. She only tweeted some abuse to MTV about their reporting and then sauntered off to the nearest strip club. Probably. (See above).

So there you have it. Our top ten. Have we missed anything? Is there anything we've included that we shouldn't have? Let us know what you think. But bear in mind that if she's done something massively life-chan ging in the last ten minutes we might not have had time to update this. We're fast, but Rihanna's faster.

Still not had enough of Rihanna? Check out our page with all her latest news and pictures: www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/rihanna

Is this more evidence of Justin Bieber's mood swings

Is this more evidence of Justin Bieber's mood swings

He's supposed to be the angel-faced teen-idol that always flashes his Hollywood smile when he sings his catchy pop songs and tells his Beliebers how much he loves them (it's loads, if you were wondering).

After playing a gig in the harbour outside the Opera House in Norway yesterday he posted on Twitter: 'I missed performing for you. I'm glad I get to do it again. I MISSED ALL OF YOU! WE ARE BACK! #BELIEVE #ILOVEMYBELIEBERS.'

Watch out, coming through, nothing to see here! Apart from a REALLY famous person, obviously

The hat isn't exactly subtle, is it?

"So long, suckers!" Bieber dashes off in a fancy Mercedes

And according to US website TMZ, the police over in Norway were on the verge of declaring a state of emergency after fans chased the Canadian heartthrob in small boats and canoes . Honestly.

It all sounds so pretty and perfect in the life of one of the world's most famous popstar, so what happened to Justin to make him do his best serious face when he arrived in Paris this afternoon?

Got a lotta glove for his fans: Bieber performed at the Opera House in Oslo

Slightly concerned by the lack of (visible) parental guidance here

It's nice to see people in canoes that aren't doing extreme sports or escaping flash floods

Last time we cried like this was when we watched Finding Nemo with a massive hangover

Maybe there weren't enough hysterical fans waiting to greet him on his arrival - or even worse, too many. Gasp!

It's more likely that he got into trouble with his mum or manager for playing one of his infamous pranks and is now banned from playing Pokemon cards or marbles - or whatever 18-year-olds do these days.

Wearing a flat peak hat and a denim jacket, Justin looked a lot smarter than his last moody moment when he was captured in jogging bottoms that looked like money was hanging out of the pockets.

Although he can afford to have money literally falling out of his pockets, this is just an illusion

Justin was on an old-school date to the cinema with girlfriend Selena Gomez - how quaint that they visit public cinemas when they probably have their own private ones - when Justin reportedly roughed up a snapper who took a picture of Selena.

The 30-year-old pap filed a complaint against Justin with police investigating the episode as a misdemeanour criminal battery case.

Spokesman Robert Wiard of the Malibu/Lost Hills sheriff's station said, "Singer Justin Bieber and actress Selena Gomez were at The Commons at Calabasas shopping centre.

"As the victim attempted to take a picture of Mr Bieber, Mr Bieber and the victim were involved in a physical altercation."

It's been reported that the case has been referred to the Los Angeles County Prosecutors which is usual in high profile legal shenanigans.

Justin has yet to be quizzed by police and girlfriend Selena Gomez wore a long grey maxi dress with a smiley face on it to a Memorial Day BBQ in Malibu earlier this week.

Sure, he recently admitted to drinking beer - is that such a crime?! - and is currently on the receiving end of alleged battery charges but we don't think we're witnessing the crash and burn of Justin Bieber just yet.

The One Direction boys (plus one girlfriend) take over Niagara Falls

The One Direction boys (plus one girlfriend) take over Niagara Falls

What better way to start the day than by staring at the miracle of nature, hmm? And here they are in all their glory: the One Direction boys.

The five piece took a boat tour of Niagara Falls yesterday during a mini break from their mammoth US tour, allowing us to play our favourite game: spot the boyband on the boat!

There's Harry!

And we can spot Louis and Niall for 10 points

Liam knows when he's been beaten

And there's Harry again and a guy we think we went to school with. Tom? Hi Tom!

And smitten Louis even let his girlfriend, Eleanor Calder, tag along. A wise decision seeing as she remembered to pick up some Taco Bell and then wave it in the air triumphantly. We like a girl who waves food triumphantly. It's what we do every single day at lunchtime after we've wrestled our way out of the local corner shop with a soggy lettuce sandwich.

Eleanor and Louis and Starbucks. IT'S LOVE

HURRAY! Food! (That bag doesn't look big enough to feed five boys, Eleanor. Just saying)

We can see you...

We last saw the couple as Eleanor tearfully waved Louis off at the airport which is extra sweet now that we know they were destined to meet up again within a couple of weeks.

Harry was there with his girlfriend too (top picture). She's a looker, Harry. Nice work. Wearing tights under your trousers must be paying off. Meanwhile Zayn's t-shirt says what everyone's thinking.

It should probably say 'Moody and I know it'

We're not sure whether these screaming girls are always at Niagara Falls or not. We're hoping they are as it's nice to know that kids these days are so into nature.

Wahoo nature!

 

Looks like the boys only actually get to have time off when they're on a boat and/or wearing cagoules. We'd keep a cagoule with us at all times in that case to whip out whenever we fancied some quiet time.

And because we'd get to say the word 'cagoule'.

Another teen pop star causing a right rumpus on a boat is Justin Bieber. His fans seem to have gone a little bit too far though in Norway...