Lauren Goodger, how can we put this? Your bum seems to have eaten your swimming costume

Lauren Goodger, how can we put this? Your bum seems to have eaten your swimming costume

Lauren Goodger might not be in the UK for the Diamond Jubilee, but that won't stop her celebrating. Actually, she'd probably be necking champagne anyway - that's what the TOWIE lot do when they go to Marbs.

But while Lauren was guzzling champagne, her bottom was guzzling something else - namely her own swimming costume. Look at it - it's basically consumed it whole, what a greedy costume.

Oh wait, looks like the diet's off anyway. Thank god for that, she definitely doesn't need one

... yep, confirmed

Mmmm, we could go a fruity cocktail now

Is that bit for us?

She may be about to eat this man's face?

... though why drink champagne when you can spray it everywhere

Lyds looks gorgeous, doesn't she?

Diags is having a right old breathe in there

Imagine the joy Chloe would feel if she had a Haviana

They do look like they're having fun, don't they?

Niiice and natural

"I'm wearing a summer shorts suit, what YOU sayin'"

Sorry, this is the bit where we show you people in clothes

Lauren was at the 'champagne spray party' (of course) at the Ocean Club in Marbella, and was hitting the booze despite being pictured looking worse for wear over the weekend. Again though, what else do you do? No-one's ever ordered a Dandelion and Burdock in the Ocean Club.

She was pictured looking very close to a man who was wearing his cap backwards. Are you this man wearing your cap backwards? Call us.

Lauren was also pictured drinking a bright coloured cocktail out of the jug, as she partied in her cutaway swimming costume. She also wore some whopping heels, which we have discussed and realised are one key reason we couldn't be a celebrity - we just like a flip-flop too much.

Just think of the pure joy they'll feel when they get those shoes off

She was joined by Lauren Pope and Chloe Sims, who did some good posing in the sun, and Diags, who seemed to be getting friendly with a lady.

Sam and Joey were there, with Sam wearing a booby swimming costume and a massive hat and heels (again...), and Joey wearing what is essentially a summer suit. The shirt actually MATCHES the shorts. Amazing.

Lydia Bright was also there, looking cute in a bikini, but also falling victim to the attack of the wedge heel, attaching itself to every TOWIE foot it sees go past.

Lucy could basically get married in that dress

More clothes were brought to you on the bodies of Mario Falcone and Lucy Mecklenburgh, who were pictured off out for dinner with Lucy wearing a gorgeous white Grecian dress. Oh and in Sam Faiers' control pants, which she tweeted saying: "Have resorted to wearing these hold in knickers as all I keep seeing is bad large pics of me haha."

We love Sam Faiers even more.

Sam couldn't get married in these bad boys

Love a bikini body? Check out Michelle Heaton's diet secrets here.

And then find out what The Voice winner Leanne Mitchell thinks of dieting here.